So I've got some mega spyware and malware issues, and don't know where to begin to start removing them.
I'd google it, but Id rather get the quick and dirty from you guys and what removal programs work best.
Spybot Search and Destroy
Don't kill everything in Hijack this though. It's basically a Windows boot log. If it's a program that's in your startup (you know...that trojan you want to delete but it yaks "access denied at you?), it'll show up there.