I'm just bummed out at the moment and need to vent, so sorry if this is the wrong section, but I figured since it was music related...
So my 'band' (it feels like a joke to even call it that) has been struggling to get off the ground for the last 3 years. With so many line up changes and commitment issues it's been a real slog. In those 3 years I have written and recorded 99% of everything that is our material, with the hope of it becoming an EP/demo, and aspirations of a début album down the road.
The thing is, I poured my heart and soul into these songs, they are my babies, and I've mixed and re-mixed and re-recorded and really tried to form a sound that is, whilst not exactly unique, still something that can fit into a particular signature I suppose, and something I can call 'ours'.
But it's taken so long to get the train a' rollin' that I feel that I've moved on from the songs before they've even seen the light of day. They are strong songs, the type anyone can get into, and I know people will enjoy them, but I'm sort of bored of that style and that sound, and feel that I want to get going with something new. Not massively new, but just an evolution of sorts.
This is the sort of evolution that would occur naturally within a band anyway, the only difference being a band would have played these songs and introduced them to the world before progressing to something else. I feel like I want to do that now though, before they've been given an audience.
Do I trash them and move on? Have I wasted 3 years of my fucking life writing mediocre metal that nobody's ever heard outside of rehearsal and a few forum posts? A couple of the tracks, and certainly a few of the riffs, will stay with me, but the rest just feels dead to me now. I don't get the same buzz when I jam them, or daydream about playing them live, but I'm not sure if that's just a reflection on how I'm feeling about the band situation itself.
Perhaps I'm trashing the songs/style as a vicarious purging of the people who are in my 'band'. Dudes who can't be fucked most of the time, and who make really undemanding occasions into bigger commitments than the band. I'm sick of it, sick of them, sick of stagnating. I'm feeling inspired to go in a new direction, but I'm also a bit lost.
I'd move on. Have those songs be a snapshot of where you were, great markers of learning in recording and writing them, and move on. Its a good thing you want to evolve. This is how new things are written and created.
And sadly, as far as the band goes? I gave up my aperations long ago. I would love to have something going, but quite honestly, the pool for such people is a shallow and dry one at best. Its hard to find people on the same page, with the same drive, willing to make the same commitments, and if you do happen to find people like that, its hard to get along with those personalities at times. Alot of things have to fall into place to make it work.