How to know if/when to quit a band...

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Thread: How to know if/when to quit a band...

  1. #1

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Colorado Springs, CO
    ME: Chapman ML-1 Hot Rod
    Rig: Jet City JCA5012C

    iTrader: 7 (100%)

    Wirelessly posted

    So as some of you may remember a ways back I joined the band I had been recording. I've been having a great time but I've had these thoughts pop into my head about quitting...I'm not sure where to begin so I guess I'll just pick a place and go.

    To be clear, I am doing this just for fun. I do NOT want to make it my career for several reason. I don't mind putting blood, sweat, and tears into the project traveling out of state for shows etc. but I want to have a normal career that will support my family. I thought this was the same thing with the other guys but they keep talking about booking more shows, getting endorsements, getting a band manager...all very intense stuff. I don't know if their goals have changed or if it's just me.

    I also feel too old to be doing this I just turned 28 and I've played a couple of shows this far with them but my body is not what it used to be. They want to go as crazy as possible on stage and I get that I like to put on a good show, but I can't keep up and my entire body hurts for several days after not just the bangover. Yeah I'm definitely out of shape and that doesn't help but still.

    The writing process has been hard as well...we try to write new material and it's very hard for anyone to really get on the same page and enjoy something. Everybody is kinda ho hum about most stuff that's written. If by chance we get something like a verse or intro or chorus going and we are all really digging it I have been trying to keep the momentum going and write other parts but then they get the same oh hum attitude. And then if we come back to the part we dug earlier like a week or two later they want to scrap it entirely. Very aggravating.

    As much as I've always wanted to play with these guys I'm holding a certain level of resentment towards them...when I was recording them they said they were going to pay me very well (I found out much later like 1000 so it was a big deal) but then after actually joining the band I never heard word about it. Come to find out during hanging out with them and them being a little loose lipped when intoxicated the words were said something to the effect of "you saved us a lot of money by joining the band...loophole!" This not being paid business still bothers me to this day as I know I'm never going to see that money I was promised now.

    I feel so conflicted. I'm the type of person that stupidly always gives up and quits stuff right as it gets going or right when things get hard and this all could be nerves considering I haven't even been with them 6 months. But I just don't know what to look at this as or which path I should actually take especially given things are so early.

  2. #2

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: London ONT
    ME: PRS Custom 22
    Rig: JCM800

    iTrader: 1 (100%)

    1. Sort out the financial side of things
    2. It sounds like the band wasn't what you expected at the beginning. If you have cold feet, jump ship now (maybe finish recording, I don't know) and let someone else who fits join in.

    That's my quick analysis

    Good luck!
    Sparrows (Space Punk, LOUD):

  3. #3

    Join Date: Sep 2013
    Location: Just outside Boston
    ME: Jackson DXMG
    MA: ibanez
    Rig: Jam Up/Bias

    iTrader: 1 (100%)

    you're doing it for fun, they wanna be rockstars. you didn't get paid as promised. bye bye.
    There is no Dana….Only XUL

  4. #4

    Join Date: Feb 2013
    Location: Arkansas, USA
    ME: Les Paul Standard
    Rig: Randall RD45

    iTrader: 0

    It sounds to me like your heart just isn't in it, and they want to try to go big time. If this is causing problems with friendships/resentment, then I'd say it is time to bug out man. Just my

  5. #5

    Join Date: Oct 2008
    Location: La Grande, Oregon
    ME: Ibanez 2027, MM JP 6
    Rig: Axe Fx 2; Mesa 2:90

    iTrader: 1 (100%)

    Don't tell us, tell them. Get it out in the open and discuss what your concerns are. See what issues are deal breakers and what aren't for both sides. Make a decision and move forward.
    Lead, follow, or get the fuck out of the way!

  6. #6

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Black Swamp, OH
    ME: Rich Mahogany
    MA: Godin A6 Ultra
    MB: SR500
    Rig: Massive/Boobies

    iTrader: 16 (100%)

    Quote Originally Posted by Christopher Bechtel View Post
    Don't tell us, tell them. Get it out in the open and discuss what your concerns are. See what issues are deal breakers and what aren't for both sides. Make a decision and move forward.

    I mean, tell us AND them

  7. #7

    Join Date: Sep 2013
    Location: Southern California
    ME: Jackson DXMGT
    MA: Mitchell MX400 BUB
    MB: Fender P Bass
    Rig: Laney IRT Randall RA412XL

    iTrader: 0

    Yeah man let them know how you feel and say whats on ur mind if they dont change by months end leave them

  8. #8

    Join Date: Oct 2008
    Location: Southeast Michigan
    ME: RG1527, RG8527Z
    MB: SR706
    Rig: Mesa Boogie Roadster

    iTrader: 0

    "Too old at 28"? I'm 31 and I'm not too old.

    Seriously, though, as everyone has said, you need to tell them

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