Best press release ever

   Heavy Metal Guitar   

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 8 of 12

Thread: Best press release ever

  1. #1

    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: Melbourne, Australia
    ME: Ibanez RGs
    MA: Cordoba Custom Flamenco
    MB: Ibanez SRs
    Rig: XXX / 5153m

    iTrader: 0

    Best press release ever

    From Aussie metal band Blood Duster's official facebook page:

    Blood Duster Member change press release.

    It is with a heavy heart that Blood Duster have to announce that Scott (AKA Beltsy or Belt Thrower) has been asked to leave the band.

    He may say that he left because of family commitments, but we can assure you that he was asked in no uncertain terms to leave Blood Duster after numerous warnings from the rest of the band.

    We would love to say the differences were musical but they were not as they pertained to his interest in the heavy metal band Anthrax, the most unmusical band ever. The 12” single released by Anthrax “I’m the Man” was found to be playing at his house on more than one occasion and he had been warned about listening to them and especially to their later output (with later output determined as anything after “Fistful of Metal”). He was warned that listening to Anthrax could undermine his ability to judge music with any objective sense of good or bad.

    “It got to the point where he was coming to rehearsals in big shorts and saying “not” well after it was amusing (which was of course a few hours after it was first said in the mid-80s)… and it’s not just that his riffs turned to shit, he was trying to introduce rap into Blood Duster and growing really stupid goatees - I have no faith that the new Mindsnare recording will be any good either, I imagine he will just introduce those metal-raps into their new stuff”
    - Jason P.C.

    Despite these repeated warnings he continued to be caught in a mosh.

    Scott also often made for odd conversation during Blood Duster rehearsals often making these bold proclamations;

    1- Suggesting that the big four of thrash metal should be expanded to 5 so it could include Flotsam and Jetsam.
    2- That Dave Mustaine singing into the mirror during the “Sweating Bullets” clip is “like, totally awesome”.
    3- He claimed that Christian metal is an actual real and proper thing that people like himself can enjoy.
    4- That Metallica only really hit their stride after “Reload” and that Lulu was a masterpiece.

    “I was like ‘fuck you dude’, and he was all like ‘no man fuck you’”
    - Matt Rizzo

    Following these incidents Scott has been dismissed from the ranks of Blood Duster effective immediately.

    “I reiterated the band’s view that former Anthrax guitarist Dan Spitz is not someone to be looked up to but he simply put more ninja turtles stickers on his guitar and ignored us”.
    - Tonebone

    We really do wish Scott the best of luck with his future little endeavours and we don’t want to sound too bitter about US deciding to give HIM the boot.

    Last we heard he will be starting a hardcore band with just about anyone.

    Recently we also were forced to ask Drummer Dave Haley (AKA Dive Taxation Forms) to step aside from Blood Duster. This was because he said he really liked the sound of all black metal that was released after Darkthrone’s A Blaze in the Northern Sky.
    He is currently getting by in his little side project “Psycroptic”, a band with a name that is completely made up. Its not even a word seriously… look it up.
    oh, that’s right you cant.

    Blood Duster are playing 3 shows with the far superior line up of:

    Tonebone- Vocals
    Jason PC- Bass
    M-Lo- Guitarz
    Matt Rizzo- Drumbs

    Upcoming dates for the “Good fucking riddance to bad rubbish Australian full blown national tour” are:

    Fri 6th Feb - Sydney - @ Factory Theatre
    w/ Summonus, Bastardizer & Fat Guy Wears Mystic Wolf Shirt.

    Fri 13th Feb - Brisbane - @The Underdog
    w/ Bloodgin, Coffin Birth, Bitter Lungs, Wartooth, Decapitated Mum, Malakyte.

    Fri 20st Feb - Melbourne - @ The Tote
    w/ The Blacklist, Chaingun and Blunt Shovel

    For those who don't know these guys:

  2. #2

    Join Date: Apr 2009
    Location: MA/NH Border

    iTrader: 1 (100%)

    “I reiterated the band’s view that former Anthrax guitarist Dan Spitz is not someone to be looked up to but he simply put more ninja turtles stickers on his guitar and ignored us”
    If I were ever in a band, these would be the bad terms I wish to end on.

  3. #3

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Arizona
    ME: Ibanez
    Rig: Mesa Triple Rectifier

    iTrader: 0

    If this goes viral those guys that quit will hate themselves.

  4. #4

    Join Date: Oct 2008
    Location: Southeast Michigan
    ME: RG1527, RG8527Z
    MB: SR706
    Rig: Mesa Boogie Roadster

    iTrader: 0

    That was pretty hilarious.

  5. #5

    Join Date: Oct 2008
    Location: Faribault, MN
    ME: Charvel MetalCaster
    Rig: Line6/Carvin

    iTrader: 0

    We did something similar in high school with a singer that left the band. He left for legit reasons (school) but we told everyone it was because we found a well worn out Slaughter tape in the tape deck of his car. He thought it was funny as shit.

  6. #6

    Join Date: Aug 2009
    Location: South Jersey
    ME: CU24
    MA: Baby Taylor
    MB: STR LS-648
    Rig: Hartke HyDrive 210/Mk IVa

    iTrader: 1 (100%)

    Good Times
    "Let us be kind one to another, for most of us are fighting a hard battle”" Ian McLaren

  7. #7

    Join Date: Jul 2013
    Location: Tulsa, OK

    iTrader: 0

    Love the subtle plugs for the guys' new projects

  8. #8

    Join Date: Feb 2009
    Location: Fort Collins, CO
    ME: RG3570z
    MA: Breedlove Pursuit Concert
    Rig: Mesa/Boogie Mark Five:25

    iTrader: 4 (100%)


Similar Threads

  1. Drill press
    By Max in forum Guitar: Tech, Electronics and DIY
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-30-2011, 01:00 AM
  2. Hilarious Maiden Press Release...
    By Mike in forum General Music Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 07-16-2010, 09:48 PM

Tags for this Thread

Fractal Audio Systems  Shred Training  Angel Vivaldi
Bowes Guitarworks  Decibel Guitars  NumbSkull Audio Production

VigLink badge