Holiday Greeting from the Duncan Customshop

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Thread: Holiday Greeting from the Duncan Customshop

  1. #1

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Boca Raton, FL
    ME: Shermans
    Rig: JCM800/6100

    iTrader: 6 (100%)

    Holiday Greeting from the Duncan Customshop

    A Visit from Saint Seymour

    It was the night before Xmas, two days from the gig.
    My new band had told me “Your tone we don’t dig!”
    My old Strat hummed like a tree full of bees.
    My once sparkling Tele now sounded like cheese!
    The gutted Les Paul was borderline junk.
    My SG wasn’t worthy, even for punk…

    “Maybe it’s time to give them a smash,
    Run them all over and burn them to ash.
    I’ll get all new ones, yeah, that’s what I’ll do!
    I’ll charge ‘em and pay until 3002!”
    Just as I got out my lighter and gas,
    A man with a beard screamed “Stop, you jack*ss!”

    The big guy approached and demanded I stop.
    I thought to myself, “Please, don’t be a cop!”
    He strummed on my Strat, then on my Tele.
    He checked out my Paul, and laughed from his belly-
    “These guitars are fine”, he said with a handful of wire.
    “Your pickups are weak, THEY belong in the fire!”

    He pulled out these boxes from his magical bag,
    “Now, these have the mojo and won’t make you gag!”
    He wired them up with a wink in a flash.
    “You’ll sound like a master, like Jimi or Slash!
    Or Eddie or Dimebag, Page, Blackmore or Beck.
    Whomever you like, just don’t bounce your check.”

    When I plugged in my axes, my tubes glowed with glee.
    Magical sounds were finally coming from me!
    My power chords sparkled like Grandpa’s new dentures.
    My solos now sounded like Slash meets the Ventures!
    I could not believe, as I played one more song,
    that these perfect guitars had been mine all along!

    “Santa,” I said, as I put my axe down.
    “Can you set up my band and my friends across town?”
    “Of course!” He exclaimed as he boxed up his tools.
    “But my name isn’t Santa, it’s SEYMOUR, you fool!”
    I heard him shout out as he drove out of sight
    “Happy pickups for all, and to all a good night!”

    Happy holidays to from Duncan land!

  2. #2

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Southern Maine
    ME: '91 UV7PWH+'91 UV7BK
    Rig: Peavey JSX-Peavey 4/12

    iTrader: 0


  3. #3

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Black Swamp, OH
    ME: Rich Mahogany
    MA: Godin A6 Ultra
    MB: SR500
    Rig: Massive/Boobies

    iTrader: 16 (100%)

    that was awesome

  4. #4

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Lake District, UK
    ME: RGD2127z/Apex 100
    Rig: Diezel Hagen/Zilla's

    iTrader: 11 (100%)

    That made me giggle a little


  5. #5

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Woodbridge, VA
    ME: KxK ProtoVii-7
    MA: Martin D-28
    Rig: Mesa/Boobies Stiletto

    iTrader: 2 (100%)

    Well done, sir.
    Division: American Metal without the suck.

    So live for today,
    Tomorrow never comes.
    Die young, die young,
    Can't you see the writing in the air?
    Die young, gonna die young,
    Someone stopped the fair.

  6. #6

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Austin, Texas
    ME: Agile Hawker 727
    Rig: read my signature

    iTrader: 0

    Hell yes.
    Vice President of the Reverse Headstock Lover's Club

    Agile Hawker 727>Line 6 XDS95>Line 6 POD X3 Pro>Matrix GT800FX>Line 6 Spidervalve 4x12

  7. #7

    Join Date: Oct 2008
    Location: Manhattan
    ME: Warmoth Warhead
    MA: Blueridge BR-40
    MB: Dingwall ABI, Kubicki
    Rig: Budda SD30

    iTrader: 12 (100%)

    Amusing, but definitely not what I was expecting. I thought they had finally sent you your Phase-I sized custom Duncans.
    Too much focus leads to tunnel vision
    Too much faith leads to religion
    Too much knowledge leads to confusion
    Too many guitar lessons lead to jazz-fusion

  8. #8

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Arizona
    ME: Ibanez
    Rig: Mesa Triple Rectifier

    iTrader: 0


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