the story of my ONI

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Thread: the story of my ONI

  1. #1

    Join Date: Jun 2012
    Location: wellington, nz maupuia
    ME: oni
    MA: the spoons
    MB: warwick thumb
    Rig: mi megalith

    iTrader: 0

    the story of my ONI

    I cant spell - deal with it/

    a while ago I asked dan to build a 7 string ONI witha space invaders inlay, I've known dan a long time and he has grown accustomed to and more patient with my crap. Needless to say I change my mind alot.

    Anyway, we are somewhat convinced that the guitar is crafted from cursed timber as its misfortune has been amazing. Firstly when Dan sent me the guitar after refinishing it, it arrived in its flight case that looked like it had been dropped out of a 10 story building, upon opening it - there was a huge ding/chip out of the bottom corner - it had been dropped from a great height indeed.
    So upon confronting NZ airways about this I am first scrutinized as though i had indeed hurled the guitar from the back of a moving vehicle - as this was not the case i insisted they facilitate the repair of the instrument.

    They tell me a few days later that they are unwilling to send it back to Dan to fix, and instead will use their own repair guy. If im not happy with this it becomes a legal matter. I just wanted my guitar back. They assure me their repair guy is one of the best in the country......arent they all.

    So 4 weeks later I meet the rapir guya t his home........heres where the weirdness begins, he has one normal hand, his other hand is deformed. I didnt immediately discount him for this - who knows he could be awesome anyway. It was certainly unusual discovering this upon shaking said deformed hand and thinking to myself "hang ona sec - thats not enough finger" - anyway i digress.

    So he takes me to the back of the messiest workshop i have ever seen - past a rather expensive porsche and proceeds to explain what he has done.

    theres a wad of what looked like humbrol enamel paint over the wound in the guitar. brilliant - then he proceeds to tell me that the frets looked a bit sharp - so he had taken to them with what i can only assume was some sort of bronze age hammer. seriously bad. rough and brutal - prison anal brutal. the frets are fucked on the treble side - more on that later.

    I then pick up the guitar, composing myself quite well given my penchant for going mental. yes theres now a brand new ding on the lower horn, and some new indents on the headstock from where the worlds strongest man used a fucking egg beater to wind the strings. theres two fresh chips out of the back of the fretboard - i have no fucking clue how he managed that.

    So once i have seen this I look at this man before me, and start to think what i have to gain from this......nothing - I took my guitar and left.
    I went home and plugged it in, the boost switch is not working - the volume knob is often jammed, and after a small period of wankery - i managed to cut the side of my hand on one of the frets - i bled onto the carpet of our rental house, i will no doubt hear of this later

    Dan being the champion that he is heard of this and offered to repair the damage, so needless to say I have sent him the guitar.

    the moral of the story is.....dont have your guitar made out of cursed ju ju wood from a tree they used to bury two headed babies under in Africa.

  2. #2

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
    ME: Ibanez 540PIIM
    Rig: Peavey 6505

    iTrader: 1 (100%)

    "W yn shn y zhī, shn y xng.
    Tiān xi m nng zhī, m nng xng." - Lao Tse - my band.

  3. #3

    Join Date: Jun 2012
    Location: wellington, nz maupuia
    ME: oni
    MA: the spoons
    MB: warwick thumb
    Rig: mi megalith

    iTrader: 0

    Quote Originally Posted by Stitch View Post
    you can use imagination land for the rest

  4. #4

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Kitchen/Laundry Room
    ME: Ironing Board
    MA: Laundry Mangle
    MB: Cascade Dish Detergent
    Rig: Washing Machine

    iTrader: 2 (100%)

    Dan's an ace guy and that story was fucking hilarious, albeit tragic.
    Argbadh - RHLC

  5. #5

    Join Date: Sep 2008
    Location: Somerville, Ma
    ME: Suhr Modern 7
    MA: Martin MC16-GTE
    MB: Dingwall Afterburner 5
    Rig: Mesa Roadster, Recto 4x12

    iTrader: 5 (100%)

    I'm sorry about your guitar and your experience, dude, but props to Dan for again following up on some awesome work with exceptional customer service.
    "They can kill you, but the legalities of eating you are a bit dicier." - David Foster Wallace

  6. #6

    Join Date: Oct 2008
    Location: Southeast Michigan
    ME: RG1527, RG8527Z
    MB: SR706
    Rig: Mesa Boogie Roadster

    iTrader: 0

    Woah. What a bizarre story.

  7. #7

    Join Date: Jun 2009
    Location: New Orleans
    ME: Elysian Custom
    Rig: Bias Desktop

    iTrader: 3 (100%)

    wow crazy fucking story! Kudos to Dan for repairing it.
    I play Suhrs, not poor people guitars. -Chris

  8. #8

    Join Date: Oct 2008
    Location: Herndon, VA
    ME: Jackson Soloist
    Rig: Fractal Audio Axe-FX II

    iTrader: 4 (100%)

    Kudos to Dan.

    I wonder if NJ Airways is taking lessons from UPS here in the states?

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