Have you ever been minding your own business in a reasonably priced diner when a man in a trenchcoat sits down from the booth across from you. You look deep into his cheap sunglasses but you can't see his eyes past their tint. The eyes are the window to the soul. But this man keeps his soul hidden.
"You have any need of exotic animals? Exotic animals trained for war? I got all kinds."
He pulls out a pamphlet that looks like it was designed in Microsoft Publisher. The 1998 version of Microsoft publisher. The god damn mother fucking best version of Microsoft Publisher.
You lean forwards, "There could be Feds here, let's talk business in the alley..."
Yeah anyways, if that dude was a pickup he would be the Black Winter. That's what I'm saying. If the Black Winter were a person it would try to sell you exotic animals trained for war in a moderately priced diner.
I can probably dig up at least one of the boxes. The S on that one looks like it is kind of wearing. Maybe you can touch it up with your mom's nail polish or something. Leads are way long. Like, as long as most venomous snakes. Also those springs are mounting screws are included.
Seriously though, someone buy these and put me out of the misery of trying to sell them on ss.org.