Definitely ballsier than most of us to put up a vocal track.
I think you did well, but need to work on a couple of pronunciations. Some of your words have a distracting "scoop" to pitch that seems like you're not rounding your vowels enough. I'm extremely guilty of this myself (regular singing) so I think I understand. It's because you're tightening your throat to assist in the pronunciation, not keeping it relaxed.