So… I'm pretty sure I've got frozen fuel lines in my car. The radio works, the headlights work, and I do get sounds from the car as it tries to start, so I'm pretty sure my battery is ok. Definitely draining on each start-up attempt, but OK.
Currently, I've got a space heater with a tarp out there, trying to thaw the thing out. It's been out there for an hour (and I've got my garage door open), and nothing yet. Going to leave it run for another two hours to see if I can get anything going.
And, yes, I could push the car into the garage, except the angle that I have it parked is 90d to the door, and the concrete pad / door / garage interior geometry means I'd have to Austin-Powers it in there, and I'd rather just get a tow-truck out here than spend any more than 30m out in these temps.
So… I wait…
good luck man.