How this sub changed me in a great way. [Archive] -

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Rev Drucifer
06-12-2019, 06:31 PM
I've been getting a sad feeling every time I open and see these threads constantly moving while not participating. I actually got caught up in that last tune I post in here a few weeks back (my sole 10 points) and it hit me like, "You HAVE to finish this song before moving onto anything else." and I'm glad I listened to myself because it opened up a whole different approach to writing music/lyrics for me.

I was never one to write overly personal lyrics, or at least I'd fashion them so you couldn't specifically point to what I was writing about but something about that tune made me think, "Ok, time to let it all out and get as personal as I can get". Being totally honest, I spent a few days just trying to get through tracking vocals without bursting into tears and I think I had to have that happen in order for me to move onto the next step of my music.

So thank you, gentlemen. While I'm sure it would have happened at some point sooner than later, this whole contest pushed it further ahead for me and I'm beyond thankful for that.

The tune is still in the mixing stages and I might change some stuff with the solo, but here it 'tis with the vocals.


I burned the evidence of my old self
I put the ashes in a box I keep close
Blade to throat I'd say it's all gone away
Truth be told, I think it's safer this way

And I thought it was over
But I just hadn't tried
I can't grow any older
With these thorns in my side

Run away from the place that's meant for better men
Hide your face from those you feel are above

And I thought it was over
But I just hadn't tried
I can't grow any older
With these thorns in my side

Such a fine disaster
Such a fine disaster

And I thought it was over
But I just hadn't tried
I can't grow any older
With these thorns in my side

Such a fine disaster
Such a fine disaster

(You can also substitute "Slimy bastard" for "fine disaster"!

06-12-2019, 07:01 PM
i'm stuck in that rut of never quite being able to make my lyrics directly personal. Music is easy to hide in ambiguity even though i know where it came from.

kudos for keeping it real and letting it flow

Rev Drucifer
06-12-2019, 11:56 PM
It's not easy to just let it out, that's for sure and you're dead on about hiding in ambiguity. Pretty much everything I've written in the past has gone through some kind of tough-guy filter and while I really dig some of the words I've strung together, this is definitely the first one I wrote with the filter off and had the delivery of the vocals match with the lyrical content. NOW I can see how writing lyrics can be therapeutic as where before I just found happiness in clever word play.

I know now that I've opened that door, the next time it'll be that much easier, so maybe just give yourself a tune to go at it. Even if you don't show the song to anyone or write an alternate version of them, just something to kick that door open to get you started. In the end, we're all humans with insecurity issues. As long as you're not a kid-toucher, I don't think anyone can really say a bad thing about what you put out, ya know?

06-13-2019, 05:35 PM
Well done, Sir. Well done.
Good on you.

7 Dying Trees
06-13-2019, 11:40 PM
Awesome work dude!

06-16-2019, 11:51 AM
Good stuff Rev. Not just the song, but what you went through/are going through, and encourage us to do as well. Love it!

Greg McCoy
06-16-2019, 03:25 PM
a whole different approach to writing music/lyrics for me.

Lyrics are tough. I usually get like, 60% of them right out of the gate in 15 minutes, but rearranging them into a cohesive structure and connecting them right takes like, at least 4-5 times that long.

Usually I go for like a mix of sensical real life issues and personal shit, colorful imagery, and obtuse nonsensical metaphysical ranting.

You can be really personal and serious and still be super oblique. There are some songs that have a linear kind of plot going, but a lot of the best ones are just painting an atmospheric portrait. "Two Minutes to Midnight" is my favorite lyrics of all time and unless you know the backstory to the song, it's just a bunch of really cool imagery painting a bleak picture open to interpretation.

I mostly stick to traditional rhyming stuff, but I like a lot of the newer extreme metal "non rhyming/non structured" stuff too, so I try to do a mix. The interior rhymes within sentences are harder to do than rhyming lines, but those are some of the most effective.

Once again, citing "Two Minutes to Midnight", if you really take a look at it you can see all the interior rhymes that put it over the top. Rhyming the ends of lines is your bread and butter, but tight interior rhymes and meter to mix it up is also great. Bruce Dickinson describes it in his autobiography as "Theater of the Mind", which is how I think of it.

The blind men shout,
"Let the creatures out
We'll show the unbelievers."
Napalm screams of human flames
For a prime time Belsen feast ... yeah!
As the reasons for the carnage cut their meat and lick the gravy
We oil the jaws of the war machine and feed it with our babies.

The killer's breed or the demon's seed,
The glamour, the fortune, the pain,
Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain
Don't you pray for our soul anymore

2 minutes to midnight,
The hands that threaten doom.
2 minutes to midnight,
To kill the unborn in the womb.


The body bags and little rags of children torn in two
And the jellied brains of those who remain to put the finger right on you
As the madmen play on words and make us all dance to their song
To the tune of starving millions to make a better kind of gun.

RJD is also very close to Bruce Dickinson for the title of "best lyricist ever". (although of course a lot of Iron Maiden's best lyrics are also Adrian Smith or Steve Harris, and some of the best lyrics Dio sings are Geezer Butler's)

Greg McCoy
06-16-2019, 03:38 PM
Most of the great metal ones do Second Person a lot too, especially Dio. Sort of an art lost to time. Where instead of being sung from the point of "I" or describing the actions of "him/her/them" he's directing it at "you". Usually in the form of some obtuse warning.

Judas Priest also does second person a lot, and occasionally has legendarily good rhyme schemes and meter like.

"Amidst the upturned burned-out cars
The challengers await
And in their fists clutch iron bars
With which to seal his fate
Across his chest in scabbards rest
The rows of throwing knives
Whose razor points in challenged tests
Have finished many lives

Now facing one another
The stand-off eats at time
Then all at once a silence falls
As the bell ceases its chime
Upon this sign the challengers
With shrieks and cries rush forth
The knives fly out like bullets
Upon their deadly course
Screams of pain and agony
Rend the silent air
Amidst the dying bodies
Blood runs everywhere
The figure stands expressionless
Impassive and alone
Unmoved by this victory
And the seeds of death he's sown"

06-17-2019, 04:36 AM

06-19-2019, 03:43 PM
Love the ending man