-Nu-Tarkin looks directly at the camera with his sparkly blue eyes and says, "Sir, can I just say before I destroy all these rebels, it's fantastic to have you back as Emperor, damn it feels good to be a gangster."
-Kylo Ren, in spite of being the leader of the First Order, is still insecure enough in his evilness that he starts every group meeting by slapping the severed head of a low ranking henchman down on the table to set the mood.
-Kylo Ren, who once again, has killed a shit ton of innocent people, is reformed by what basically amounts to a phone call from his mom.
-For some reason the only way to get to the remains of the second death star is a sail boat.
-In a clear attempt to imitate a bit of Indiana Jones. Poe looks at a skeleton and says, "BONES, WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE BONES, I CAN'T STAND BONES." Snakes are funny. Being afraid of bones is just kind of...... pathetic. Suddenly Poe has a phobia for bones. After multiple movies and a back story in which he presumably would have seen one or two bones.
-Chewbacca, who has already been established as a furious creature who once almost impulsively strangled Lando for betraying Han is shown helpfully handing over the Sith dagger to some storm troopers with zero resistance. Storm Troopers who probably didn't even know he had the important Sith Dagger Mcguffin. "Where's Chewbacca?" "Oh, there he is helpfully handing over the Sith Dagger to a storm trooper." It's like the Star Wars equivalent of if a cop said hello to you on the street and you were like "THERE ARE A SHIT TON OF DRUGS IN MY CAR".
-"What's that in the distance......could it be, the annual state fair of the potato headed aliens?"
-Palpatine announces, "The First Order, pfffffft, fucking amateurs, this is the last order motherfuckers." That's like, an Ice-T level boast.
-"Hey, you know that scene with Rey talking to evil Rey? Well last night I was watching the Fellowship of the Ring, and you know that jump scare where Bilbo makes a scary face?"
"Snoke? I've got like four Snokes. I have so many Snokes I don't even know what to do with them."
-"Never underestimate a droid" is introduced as the 328th catchphrase they have tried to get to catch on. In spite of the fact that the catchphrases that have already caught on like "i have a bad feeling about this" and "i know" are already overused and groan worthy enough.
-Palpatine, a man who spent decades meticulously plotting the downfall of, announces his return with a radio commercial.
-Rose shows up in a very clearly demoted role as a pathetic concession to soothe the bruised egos of Star Wars fans.
-"Holocrons are too mainstream, what if they just write all their important shit on daggers?"
-Poes gradual journey from just being a massive dick to C-3PO to being weirdly threatened by C-3PO, all while cosplaying as Indiana Jones.
-OH SHIT, POES EX GIRLFRIEND IS ONE OF THE DUDES FROM DAFT PUNK
-Poe asks a lady if he can kiss her in a scene that is meant to be a hilarious moment. But it's never made clear whether he meant with or without the helmet. Did Poe just plan to make out with that helmet? We may never know.
-"The test audiences aren't loving it enough. There aren't enough nostalgic references. Can we get one of those guys who played a hobbit to stand around? That's what this movie is missing, a moment inserted for the sole appeal of giving the audience the chance to say, "HOLY SHIT, THAT'S THE SAME GUY WHO PLAYED THAT ONE HOBBIT. Not one of the important hobbits, Elijiah Wood would be too expensive. Maybe the Hobbit from lost, I bet he's doing fuck all these days."
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved the movie, but it was the best kind of over the top stupid absurd.