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Thread: Nolly Archetype

  1. #17


    Join Date: Feb 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris View Post
    Nah, we do that to everyone else on here but Nolly *always gets a pass. Good dude, great producer and can play and write his ass off. Good for him - this stuff sounds awesome. I hope he's getting a PRS endorsement too.

    Edit: *Except from Garrett, apparently.
    I have nothing against Nolly, just stuff against people who act like something is the tonal equivalent of the moon landing and heap it with unreserved praise just because their favorite social media influencer slapped their name on it.

    I mean yeah, this VST is so far ahead of everything else it's mindblowing, you can literally hear how groundbreaking it is.....

    ....up to the point where you put all the people singing its praises in a double blind study where they aren't told which one is the Nolly VST.

    Then they can't hear shit.

    They've done this with a strati various and a regular violin numerous times, and all of the connoisseurs always come out looking like idiots.

    And that's a group of people who hasn't damaged their hearing with cranked half stacks.

    All I'm saying is that if I took the Frogger.exe file from a 1997 3d remake of Frogger by Hasbro Interactive for PC and re titled it, "Nolly Neural DSP.vst" and gave it to people, they would still be telling me about how it's the greatest VST ever made.

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  3. #18


    Join Date: Sep 2008
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    Don't get me wrong.- I agree with you that all of these things are marketed with the same over the top schtick that the /7/ folks live for.

  4. #19


    Join Date: Feb 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris View Post
    Don't get me wrong.- I agree with you that all of these things are marketed with the same over the top schtick that the /7/ folks live for.
    The problem with all these guys who are trying to cash in on that crowd, is that they always make their sites so full of "slick professionalism" it actually goes too far and ends up looking implausible and amateurish.

    I mean, if you go and look at their site it's like, holy fuck. It looks like a fucking parody of ultra-modern professional design. They have a bunch of nice pictures that they just happened to take at the right time, that were not staged shots, but pictures that just happen to look staged taken during the arduous development process when they were photogenically staring at amps. The endless scroll infinity waterfall page layout.

    You actually see it all the time with start ups in all fields, although it's particularly bad in music, they are so concerned with making all their production values and web/social media presence the pinnacle of Triple A that it arouses suspicion. Like,

    "Where did they find the time for the product if they spent this much time on the production values?"

    It's offputting, the "fake it til you make it" mentality, they think, "If we make sure our aesthetics are sick, like the biggest companies, people will be more likely to buy our product".

    In reality, all the huge companies with Triple A production values didn't start out like that. They look like that now.

    This is what Amazon, the biggest fucking company in the world, looked like in its first decade.



    I mean sure, make your shit look good and professional, but when you posture too hard, not only do I not want to buy your shit, it makes me suspicious about how good the product/service actually is.

    These fucking Neural douchebags have their site set up to give the impression that their HQ is some ultra modern thing in the Swiss Alps only accessible by heli-pad straight out of a James Bond movie and it's like, fucking please.

    Once again, here's Amazon in their first decade.



    Professional aesthetics are important, but posturing too hard is a mistake. Once again, all these big companies with the impressive image now that were started in someone's garage, were somewhat honest about the fact they were started in someones garage at the start.

    Neural comes right out of the gate looking like they have a fucking campus like Google. Like I can go to the Neural campus and take fucking spin classes and there is a healthy smoothie stand at the Neural campus and there are fucking panes of glass with the company logo everywhere and monochrome decor and it's like, fucking please.

    When companies come out of the gate that hard with "branding" and there is no humanity or humility anywhere in sight and their shit is at a"premium" price point. Yeah, I'm not going to feel bad about talking shit about them. VSTs are a cutthroat business, it's a vote with your wallet atmosphere. When their price is that much higher then comparable shit, yeah, it is an implicit declaration that they think they are better than the more reasonably priced competition. People are allowed to have an opinion about that.

    There are a lot of shit-hot coders writing VSTs. It's a competitive field. If you are coming out with the alpha and omega as a start up at a ridiculous price point, yeah, expect to have your shit scrutinized and questioned.

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  6. #20


    Join Date: Feb 2010
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    The natural order of things is to design a product, honestly believe it's the best, refine it, perfect it, do the site, come up with the pitch, do the branding, etc.

    When you go look at something and it's clear they did the branding and the pitch first and came up with the product after..........yeah, it might be a cash grab.

  7. #21


    Join Date: Feb 2010
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    And you know, in all honesty, you guys who think this is the most legit thing ever have broken bullshit meters or are dumb as fuck.

    Go to Neural's site. These guys are supposed to be the fucking slickest coders around today according to you guys. They are writing VSTs so far ahead of everyone else it's two thousand mother fucking one Space Odyssey shit.

    Then you scroll to the bottom of their site and see that not only did these brilliant coders who are supposed to be literal fucking wizards when it comes to writing code go with a fucking stock "new small business seeking to look professional" wordpress theme, they paid someone else to do their site.

    These guys are supposed to be VST savants, and they paid someone else to do a fucking shitty wordpress layout? Come on.

  8. #22


    Join Date: Sep 2008
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    VSTs are software engineering, not web design. They're both done on computers, but that's about where the similarity ends.

    Quote Originally Posted by Greg McCoy View Post
    And you know, in all honesty, you guys who think this is the most legit thing ever have broken bullshit meters or are dumb as fuck.
    Which "guys" are you talking to right now? I don't give a fuck about VSTs, I have a 5150 and an Axe-Fx.

  9. #23


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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris View Post
    Which "guys" are you talking to right now? I don't give a fuck about VSTs, I have a 5150 and an Axe-Fx.
    Anyone who spent hundreds of dollars on a generic VST with a branded UI. I was not lumping you in there.

    Or anyone who can make it through this word salad and still think "these guys are brilliant".



    "Just gimme four paragraphs of stuff that sounds vaguely computer-y"

    There are so many laugh out loud funny parts here. All they had to do was answer the question, "What exactly do you guys do at Neural".

    The vagueness is intriguing though. I love the fact that they coined the phrase "deceptively complex" and they hinted in the middle that they have a nearly done AI capable of writing djent on its own.

    It's like they contacted Peter Molyneaux and were like, "You know all that vaporware shit you promised when you were developing the original Fable? We need that for amps, only more extreme."

    To be fair though they were very specific about the nature of the game changing technology they are sitting on. It's an augmented reality answer to the question of what people will be using 20-30 years from now that answers a decievingly complex two part question that will possibly advance the developement of "these tools" by an order of magnitude that is only possible because Neural assembled multidisciplinary team of experts solely focused on advancing the state of the art in the sonic industrial-sciences.

  10. #24


    Join Date: Feb 2010
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    I also love the fact they just made up the term "sonic industrial sciences" as well as the disturbing implication that whoever wrote that has no idea what "multidisciplinary" means.

    I'm assuming their team is mostly programmers or musicians/music tech types. But I could be wrong, maybe they are truly multidisciplinary though.

    "This is our team. This is Tom, our biologist. Over here is Ezekial. He's our 14th century European History guy. To his left is Sarah. She just got her PHD in agricultural science...

    (ten minutes later)

    ...that's about everyone, except the guys we outsource to who supply us with generic high gain VST code."

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