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Not baked anymore.
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I joined the band I'm in a little over a year ago. Get along great with everyone, we've written some cool tunes and are 75% finished recording a full length album. Everyone is really excited about the album, it's a first for all of us to have an actual full length album and not just a 4 song demo. Well, some of us are, I guess.

I've got this Hyundai Accent that needs some work done to the clutch. I called my guitarist, (the warehouse space is in his name) to see if it was cool with him if I parked the car in front of our practice spot because the guy in the bay next to us was going to fix it for me. He told me it wasn't a problem at all.

I knew joining this band that the drummer is a lunatic. He'll go 8 months being the nicest guy and then just flip. Nose candy has a play in this as well. I never once thought I would be in the dude's crosshairs but I was in the studio tonight with my bassist and guitarist and asked my guitarist if he talked to the drummer recently. I called him monday but he said he was busy and acted like he didn't even know who I was.

"Yeah, I talked to him."

....."How is he?"

"Oh, psychotic as ever."

"About what?"

"You'll see."

That irked me. It told me right away that I was now his target of choice because my guitarist would have told me what the problem was right away if it weren't me. So after practice I talked to my bass player who has been a good friend for the last 10 years and asked him what he thought.

"Look, I was told not to tell you this, but when Bill (guitarist) went to get his gear to bring here to record, he saw someone wrote on the side of your car in marker, something about "Get this piece of shit out of here" or something. He asked the mechanic next door if he knew anything about that and he said he saw Brian (drummer) do it. That's all I know."

What. The. Fuck.

So I go over to the practice space and sure as shit, right above the driver side windows in big, black marker it says "MOVE THIS PIECE OF SHIT OR I'LL DESTROY IT!". I open the practice room door and all his drums are gone, there's a fuckin Sharpie sitting right there on the floor and the setlist he wrote on the dry erase board matches the hand writing on my car perfectly.

I've never once had bad words with my drummer. Not ONCE. Two weeks ago I called and asked him if my former drummer could play his set because I hadn't seen the dude in 7 years and he was in town for 3 days, we wanted to jam. He flat out said no and acted rather offended that I'd even ask.

The only other thing that I could think I did to piss him off is I went and saw our former guitarist (who HE kicked out against my wishes) new band play and told them I'd maybe record some vocals for them if I found time. Drummer may have caught wind of that, but still, I can record whatever the fuck I want, when I want to with whoever I want to. And I never actually recording anything.

Aside from those two things, I can't think of anything I possibly could have done to piss him off. The last time I saw him we had a couple beers and celebrated him finishing his drum tracks. I've talked to him twice in the last 3 weeks and he hasn't said a word to me about ANYTHING.

I'm also a bit perturbed with my guitarist, who has known about this for a week and hasn't said shit. I asked him what was up with the drummer tonight and he said nothing. I just know that if I showed up at our practice space and saw something of his damaged, I'd call the dude and tell him.

We're supposed to practice tomorrow but I went in and grabbed all my shit tonight. I'll show up and give him a chance to explain himself and then I'll make my exit. As for the record, I want to finish what I started. This last batch of 4 tunes were written 75% by me are pretty cool tunes. My bassist is recording everything and has control over where the tracks are going when they're done and he said tonight that if I quit for sure, he's done as well.

It's fucking AMAZING to me that someone would go into self-sabotage mode like this. One week he's telling me he's so happy I'm in the band and the next he's fucking writing shit on my car. No phone calls, no visits to tell me he has an issue, nothing.

Some people really shouldn't do drugs.

What's really going to piss him off now is that our former guitarist's new band has a whole album worth of tunes waiting for vocals and my schedule just opened right the fuck up. There's bad blood between them and though I'm not vengeful or vindictive, I have NO problem watching full grown adults lie in the bed they've made.
 

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Could be Hitler
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Not surprising at all really. Welcome to the world of music and flakey ass musicians.
 

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Not baked anymore.
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Not surprising at all really. Welcome to the world of music and flakey ass musicians.
I've thankfully never had to deal with this at all. I've never left/been kicked out of a band out of anger, never had to. That just makes it that much more fucked up in my head. Completely out of the blue.

Sure, he could have smashed the windows in or worse and I can probably get the marker off easily enough, it's just the principle and lack of logical reasoning that will no doubt come as an excuse tomorrow night.

I'm going to record the whole discussion on my phone. I want to be able to hear the bullshit he's going to spew tomorrow over and over. I'll post the fuckin' thing to our band's FB page.
 

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Could be Hitler
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I've thankfully never had to deal with this at all. I've never left/been kicked out of a band out of anger, never had to. That just makes it that much more fucked up in my head. Completely out of the blue.

Sure, he could have smashed the windows in or worse and I can probably get the marker off easily enough, it's just the principle and lack of logical reasoning that will no doubt come as an excuse tomorrow night.

I'm going to record the whole discussion on my phone. I want to be able to hear the bullshit he's going to spew tomorrow over and over. I'll post the fuckin' thing to our band's FB page.
A lot of musicians have dodged true responsibility there whole lives therefore still have the mindset of a spoiled selfish 12 year old. This leads to them acting like your drummer.
 

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Premium Member
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you should kick him out. even if it means the end of the band. guys like that exist because they feel untouchable. usually drummers because they are in short supply. he needs to know that being a prick is not ok
 

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getting schwifty
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we had a bassist like that. though, he didn't have a drug problem. just an overwhelming sense of self-entitlement. poor guy was 35 at the time and could barely get his life together. he's the type that can't handle accountability and would rather fly off the handle in some random tirade, as opposed to thinking through and resolving issues like most acclimated adults.

pity, really.. we helped him get on his feet, but the guy just didn't know what he had. so we booted him.
 

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A lot of musicians have dodged true responsibility there whole lives therefore still have the mindset of a spoiled selfish 12 year old. This leads to them acting like your drummer.
couldn't have said it better.
 

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Not baked anymore.
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Everyone is dead on correct.

This guy is 42 and everything you've ever heard about drug problems and assholes, he fits the bill perfectly.

I sent a picture of my car to my guitarist this morning and asked if he knew anything about it, (knowing that he did), he called me back and confirmed everything. I feel bad for the dude now because he was really hoping the drummer would step up and say something when I called him earlier this week. He was nothing but apologetic and is buying some cleaner to try to take the shit off my car (lord knows the drummer won't).
My guitarist also has no clue why he did it.

I still don't consider this 'my' band, as I joined some 10 years after it was started, so my decision is that I will not play with Brian (drummer) in a band or to any capacity. If they want to keep on as a band, good for them, but I won't be in it. If they shitcan him and find a new drummer, I'll stick around.

My former guitarist warned me numerous times. He actually helped the drummer get clean several times and as payback, the drummer kicked him out of the band. Classic junkie behavior, lash out at the ones closest to you and take the most positive things going on in your life and fuck 'em without lube.
 

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Resident Winger Overlord
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The guy is an Ass Cork. yeah def move along. I'm surprised those other guys have stuck with him.

shady on all their parts if you ask me

hope it all works out for ya. get some goof off
 

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Yeah, he needs to go, dude. I'd be surprised if the band chooses him over you, too, that's fucking dumb,
 

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Guiterrorizer
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Wirelessly posted

Drug issues and known mental health issues makes the drummer story shitty, but not shocking.

The guitarist not bein straight about it however, is nearly as bad IMO. I'd have a talk with him too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Yeah, our guitarist is overly nice and forgiving to a fault. He avoids confrontation at all costs and asked me to call our drummer last week just to keep communication up. This was right after he saw my car, so he tried to get things out in the air without being involved, assuming our drummer would say something when I called him.

But he didn't. I gave him a studio update and said we should get together soon for practice, he told me he was busy and would give me a call later. He never did.

My guitarist called him after that and never brought my car up, he asked if I spoke to him and all he said was "Yes.", he didn't want to bring it up to avoid a blow up with the drummer. If it were me, I would have brought it up, but he just wants to keep the band going.

I'm assuming he figured we could work this out, that I would deal with the drummer's BS like others have in the past. After the studio debacle (I made a thread about that too, drummer held us up, refused to play to a click) and his general attitude, burning bridges with other bands/venues, I'm done. I can deal with the attitude as long as music gets done, but when you start fucking with my shit and straight up disrespecting me for ZERO fucking reason, I'm out.

I'm not sure how to handle the guitarist thing yet, I would have handled things differently, but I can also understand why he did things the way he did. When I asked him about it, he was straight up front about everything he knew and is offering to fix the damage himself (whcih is far from his concern). As for my bass player, he only found out a day before I did and was waiting to see me in person before telling me.

I'm very anxious to see the look on his face when I walk, which is the only reason I'm even showing up at the space tonight.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 · (Edited)
Well that was fun.

Short version:

He's out of the band and the rest of us are carrying on.

Detailed version:

Showed up to the practice space with my bass player, drummer shook our hands like nothin' happened and said, "What's up?", again, like nothing happened.

I asked him, "What IS up, man?"

"Dude, I didn't know it was your car."
(Granted, he never saw the car before, it has fuckin stickers of my last band right on the back windshield, impossible to miss.)

"If I knew it was your car, I never would have done it. I had this cabinet I had to bring in (points to cabinet that was NOT in the room last night) and the car was in my way, I was fucking pissed and in a hurry, I thought it was the guys next door. It wasn't until a week or so after that I saw the stickers and said, "Oh shit.".

"Dude, I called you on Monday and you didn't say a word about it."

"Mond....wait, what?"
(15 second pause one takes when they're busted in a lie and the lie machine isn't kicking in right away to fire off a new one)
"I just didn't think of it. I'm sorry, I should have."

"So you've known about it for weeks and not only did you not fix it before I even found out, but you didn't tell me after having numerous chances."

"I talked to you....you know what, the last time I remember talking to you was when you called me, I thought to play, and you asked if your fucking FRIEND could play MY fucking drums. THAT really pissed ME off. What kind of bullshit is that?"

"You're pissed at me because I had the respect to call and see if it was ok if one of my best friends, who I haven't seen in 7 years and was here for 3 days, could play your set?"

"YEAH! That's fucked up!"

"I don't know what to say. If me playing with someone else pisses you off, that's your problem. I could have just as easily come down here and used your kit without you ever even knowing, but I respected you and called you first and then respected your wishes after and didn't use them. Any problems you have with any of that are your own because I didn't do a fucking thing wrong and there's no way you can argue that."

"Well, are we going to play or what?"

"I didn't bring a guitar."

"Well I set this shit up for nothing then. (4 piece kit with 3 cymbals compared to his normal Peart sized kit) 50% of me wanted to stay home tonight anyway. It always does."

(This is when the other two guys started in with, "Oh come on, you don't mean that..."...he was going for sympathy.)

So I told them I was going to go home and debate it for a bit. I wanted to see what was said after I left because I knew more truth would end up coming out.

And I was right.

Talked to my bass player an hour after I left, I guess when our guitarist got there (before my bassist and I) he told our drummer, "Hey man, Drew's kinda pissed about the car."

"Fuck that guy."

The end result?

He's out of the band. We're finishing the record and looking for a new drummer. The guitarist said after, "I've spent too long dealing with this guy and covering for him, babying him, I think it's time to move on."

Works for me. Hopefully we can drop a lot of the older material now that barely sounds like the newer stuff. No more beating around the bush with someone, no more writing a song for 4 months because certain people keep forgetting their parts because they drink too much, all that shit that I was willing to deal with in order to write music.

Though no one has told him flat out that he's out, he packed up his drums when he left and told the guys, "I'll see ya....when I see ya...."

First and only time I've ever had to deal with bullshit from someone like that and I'm glad I dealt with it quickly. Less than 24 hours, actually.
 

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Man that sucks on ice. I have seen people self sabotage before. Its like they are secretly afraid to succeed. Weird but true and all to common. I went to see a former group I left play a party and when I was walking up they where playing MY fucking song. The advantage of being huge..they never tried that again. Too bad for them I drank back then.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
As a former self-sabotage-r, nothing surprises me when it comes to this stuff.

For the last 6 months all we've talked about is putting this album out. They've been together for nearly 15 years and could never get an album done. I joined the band, brought a more serious work ethic to the table and a year later we're 75% finished the album.

He actually had the level of idiocy to claim we did this as part of a conspiracy to kick him out. Yes. I parked my car in front of the space so you could write on it, pissing me off, thus giving us a reason to kick you out.

Fuckin' moron.
 
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