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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If there's one thing that unites us as guitarists, it's the lifelong quest to find the perfect guitar chair. It's hard to find one that ticks all the boxes, maybe it's uncomfortable, maybe it's from Staples, a store everyone knows is for posers, maybe it has arm rests that limit you to only playing lame shapes, like Strandbergs or whatever.

That sounds like an infomercial pitch, and you probably think I'm about to sell you something. But I'm not. (Not until I get the influencers to endorse it anyways.)

So anyways, there's been this rowing machine from the 90s that I've looked at and thought "that seat is so fucking sick, that's like, a space captain level chair, some serious Star Trek shit, I bet it's perfect for playing guitar in" for what can only be described as a "long ass time".

I've never got around to actually turning it into a guitar chair. Because I thought "what if the urge to row on the rowing machine strikes me?". Now for those of you who don't know about Rowing Machines, they all fucking suck. But anything made before like, 2004, is pretty much classified as a torture device under the Geneva conventions. The ones with the cord you see at the gym are for pussies. The heavy duty ones have hydraulic pistons and shit, which this one had, but the problem with that is it feels nothing like rowing a boat through water, more like rowing through concrete.

So anyways, since I'm slowly setting my new space up I was like, "It's time to finally disassemble that piece of shit and make a fucking awesome guitar chair."

The wood blocks between the rowing machine chair and the vintage 70s base which is a fucking hideous shade or green were selected for maximum tone, as well as supple shock absorbance, and the old '70s heavy duty base need to be painted with some colorful Rustoleum so it doesn't look like something made from parts cannabalized from other things (which is what it is of course), but other than that it works like a charm.



Here is a brief video of it in use. Not that long, because I'm still figuring out how to mix my material that has Hammond B3, Choirs, and Theremin. But you know, if I didn't include a video people would be like, "That's not the ultimate guitar chair". The parts with the guitar double tracked aren't particularly tight, but I didn't track with headphones or any of the conditions (cord instead of wireless, no reverb on the mix, etc.) usually present for a serious go. In terms of tracking this new chair is definitely almost as important a part of my signal chain as my sick ass Miami Vice 80s Bolle prescription glasses I wear to feel the vibe, which I can technically wear inside without being a douche, because they are prescription (not my prescription, but close enough) and they fall on the spectrum in between sunglasses and regular glasses occupied by well known 80s cult leaders, and the neoprene fitness instructor belt I ordered off Amazon prime to house my Boss Wireless unit, since no company makes one intended for mounting on a guitar strap yet.

 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I don't care about chairs.

What the fuck is that yellow HS Jackson on the wall :flex:
'89-'90 Ontario Soloist. Super sick guitar. Had it for a little over a year now.



If I was ordering it the only thing I would do differently is reversed stock and reversed inlays, maybe in phenolic yellow. But I specifically like getting the used ones from '88-'91, so those are minor quibbles.

You have no fucking clue how long I had to wait for one in yellow to come up for sale. :lol: I've had a lot of killer Ontario orders, but this one is my favorite. Unrecessed trem with the pull up route, which is my favorite set up. I've got the new-ish EMG Super 77 or whatever in the bridge, great pickup. It's got the little recessed sculpt on the horn too, which is always a plus.

Vintage Jacksons/Charvels will always be my favorite, but these days my #1 is the '82 E2. The Soloist is a close second though. I have to get it refretted. The explorer has EVOs, which are sick. Frets in the soloist are stock, and somewhat worn obviously.

Planning on dropping a Schaller sure claw in there too. Need to get around to that.
 

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my sick ass Miami Vice 80s Bolle prescription glasses I wear to feel the vibe, which I can technically wear inside without being a douche, because they are prescription (not my prescription, but close enough) and they fall on the spectrum in between sunglasses and regular glasses occupied by well known 80s cult leaders, and the neoprene fitness instructor belt I ordered off Amazon prime to house my Boss Wireless unit, since no company makes one intended for mounting on a guitar strap yet.
:rofl:
 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Boss doesn't make any cases that mount to your strap, and even the ones that would kind of work with a slight modification on a 2" strap are out of the question because I use 3" cliplocks on both my main ones. Pretty much all the wireless holsters are for 2" straps.

So I'm stuck with trying to feel metal with this.

 

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Oh, I was still laughing about the sunglasses not actually being to your prescription when I got to the part of the sentence with the belt! :lol:
 

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is on drug whatever
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In all seriousness, that does look awesome. It's also extremely close to the kind of chair I could do with for my office/guitar hole which is far too small for the amount of gear that I have in there.
 

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My favorite part of that video is the Al DiMeola Look of Supreme Self-Satisfaction that you throw here and there. Goes perfect with the shades. Only missing the disco shirt and chain.

That chair is a great idea. I use an old Office Depot office/gamer chair that is partially functional but does have armrests that fold up. I need to have a reclining function for when I'm relaxing in the middle of late-night sessions of trying to make my drums sound like something other than crap.
 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
My favorite part of that video is the Al DiMeola Look of Supreme Self-Satisfaction that you throw here and there. Goes perfect with the shades. Only missing the disco shirt and chain.

That chair is a great idea. I use an old Office Depot office/gamer chair that is partially functional but does have armrests that fold up. I need to have a reclining function for when I'm relaxing in the middle of late-night sessions of trying to make my drums sound like something other than crap.
:lol:



People mistake that style for aviators, but they are actually called "Glacier Glasses". Al Di Meola switched to like, standard Ray-Bans or whatever later, but the iconic ones are definitely speciality mountaineering glasses. The lens color is so you can like, see where to swing your ice ax or something.

(on the right)



Supposedly they were developed in the Swiss Alps for extreme mountaineering and skiiers who for some reason don't want to wear goggles, but realisitically they are only used by drug dealers from 80s Miami and people playing guitar indoors. The only time you will ever see them used for mountaineering is if a James Bond movie has a mountaineering scene.


There was also a very brief period where Kerry King tried to make wraparound one piece Sportsfishing/Flyfishing/Biking glasses cool for playing guitar in, but it never took off, and he switched back to lame "The Matrix" sunglasses indoors.



Kerry King kind of pretends that era doesn't exist. Since his custom ESP from that time was literally a combination crackle/tiger finish, although the one above is just a straight tiger, which doesn't exactly scream "tough guy".

 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Also, Yngwie has obviously done the Glacier Glasses from time to time, although he has the worlds largest collection of indoor sunglasses spanning a variety of different styles.





You can tell what mood Yngwie is in by his sunglasses. When he wants to seem like his music is more timeless he switches to fucking godawful oversized circular Ozzy ones. He likes to wear those when he wants to send the message he has aged gracefully.

 

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Underappreciated is the effect of your chair on your recorded tone. From watching the video, I can tell that chair has noticeable low-midrange growl and a sizzle in the uppermids.
 

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'89-'90 Ontario Soloist. Super sick guitar. Had it for a little over a year now.



If I was ordering it the only thing I would do differently is reversed stock and reversed inlays, maybe in phenolic yellow. But I specifically like getting the used ones from '88-'91, so those are minor quibbles.

You have no fucking clue how long I had to wait for one in yellow to come up for sale. :lol: I've had a lot of killer Ontario orders, but this one is my favorite. Unrecessed trem with the pull up route, which is my favorite set up. I've got the new-ish EMG Super 77 or whatever in the bridge, great pickup. It's got the little recessed sculpt on the horn too, which is always a plus.

Vintage Jacksons/Charvels will always be my favorite, but these days my #1 is the '82 E2. The Soloist is a close second though. I have to get it refretted. The explorer has EVOs, which are sick. Frets in the soloist are stock, and somewhat worn obviously.

Planning on dropping a Schaller sure claw in there too. Need to get around to that.
So nice. Agreed with reverse headstock, of course :lol:

But... what the flying fuck is up with the intonation points :lol:

I suppose it works since you got it that way, but I've NEVER seen a guitar adjusted like that any time before.
 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Underappreciated is the effect of your chair on your recorded tone. From watching the video, I can tell that chair has noticeable low-midrange growl and a sizzle in the uppermids.
I haven't gotten around to worrying about recorded guitar tone yet. I just use Toontracks VH amp sim or Recab 4 for scratch tracks. That's the last part I'll worry about. I'm still like, panning harmonized theremin parts and shit.

I did recently switch to these though, and they kick ass. I've used Jazz III XLs for fucking years, tried other things, but they never stick, these are the first thing that's actually replaced them for me.

Great picks, I believe I heard about them in a thread on here, but I can't remember which one.

 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
So nice. Agreed with reverse headstock, of course :lol:

But... what the flying fuck is up with the intonation points :lol:

I suppose it works since you got it that way, but I've NEVER seen a guitar adjusted like that any time before.
Good eye. :lol:

It's not intonated correctly actually, Usually on the older Schaller OFR/ JT-590 trems the intonation hex bolts are stripped or near when you get them, I just replaced these with new ones last week and just put the saddles back on. Took everything apart and cleaned it and shit like that.

I will say though, that using DR strings compared to D'addarios, it does sometimes end up with something weird. D'addarios are definitely the easiest to intonate and the best at stability. I have GHS strings on the Explorer and DRs on other shit, and they do tend to end up in "weirder" positions than D'addarios.
 

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Ola had them in a comparison video. I've been using the Beartrucci model Flow for a bit and prefer the wear characteristics over my old bulk buy, Ultex Sharp 2.0s.
 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Ola had them in a comparison video. I've been using the Beartrucci model Flow for a bit and prefer the wear characteristics over my old bulk buy, Ultex Sharp 2.0s.
Yeah, the Flows rule, can't recommend them enough, I liked them enough right off the bat I was confident to switch from my old standby of bulk ordering Jazz III XLs (red) to those.
 

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I am Groot
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Also, Yngwie has obviously done the Glacier Glasses from time to time, although he has the worlds largest collection of indoor sunglasses spanning a variety of different styles.

Most people don't realize that Yngwie is actually Richie Sambora.
 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Most people don't realize that Yngwie is actually Richie Sambora.
Sambora? He's totally going for SRV there. That's the SRV concho hat.

People sort of forget, because SRV's image has been sanitized for dad's bringing their kids to Hard Rock Cafes and Lawyers buying Dumbles to leave out the absolutely ridiculous amount of drugs SRV did, the fact there were convicted felons in Double Trouble, and the fact that SRV dressed like a pimp on a 6 year long coke bender.

It's actually utterly bizarre that all the people copping SRV's vibe dress so conservatively and apparently think his image was "mainly wholesome blues". SRV wouldn't even leave the house without wearing an ensemble that made your eyes bleed.





SRV considered "business casual" like, a kimono made out of giraffe skin. He dressed like the white Flavor Flav.
 

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I am Groot
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Sambora? He's totally going for SRV there. That's the SRV concho hat.
Ahem...



Leather jacket with tassels and a cowboy hat worn unironically by someone from nowhere near the western US.
 
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