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Incoming 4 page essay on how nolly is a shill and that you shouldn't buy this product despite the fact it sounds great and is very convenient.....
 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Incoming 4 page essay on how nolly is a shill and that you shouldn't buy this product despite the fact it sounds great and is very convenient.....
What kind of sad, petty person would do something like that?

I'm not saying this just because I fellate every single product that comes out that is endorsed by the same stale crowd of social media taste makers that has been driving a large segment of the gear market for the better part of the past decade, but I honestly believe this might be the best VST of the year.

Maybe the best VST in the history of computing. In terms of the history of computer programs, this is like, on par with the Ultima series, or the programs that landed the curiosity rover on mars.

It might even be on par with the original minesweeper.

For 135 euros they are practically giving it away. That is like, the same level of generosity as Mother Teresa, or Nelson Mandela.

I actually bought the program, and a day after using it, my mind was so blown, that I turned myself in to my local police station and I was like, "I practically stole this legendary piece of software officers, cuff me".

Some guy was like, "This is pretty much the tonal equivalent of the NXIVM cult you fucking idiot."

Ummmmmmmmmm, wrong. Did the NXIVM cult offer a 9 band EQ?

That is only one band less than an industry standard 10 band.

And even better, I hear they are releasing the additional 10th band as a DLC down the line for an additional 15 euros.

Listen, I have an ear for tone, and I know snake oil when I see it. But as I scrolled down the product page, which had the exact same homogenized sleek layout as every other page designed for the bro-metal crowd, my senses were drinking it all in, and I was like,

"If this thing wasn't worth the money, why would they feature a generic phoned in quote in bold text? Did the detractors not read the crunch amp has a twist?"

That's not just hyperbolic ad speak either. This twist is so advanced it's going to make M Night Shalyman look like fucking Kid Rock.

The twist is worth 135 euros on its own.





It's literally like, the twist in The Sixth Sense, if the Sixth Sense was a bad Meshuggah rip off with N'Sync vocals.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and donate to the Periphery singers Patreon, those highlights in his hair don't pay for themselves.
 

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Bah. I still suck.
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It wasn’t 4 pages long but that will do.
 

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Regardless of Neural DSP's marketing and bro-metal orientation, I ended up getting both the Plini and Parallax VSTs because they are really damned good.

As for Nolly, he showed up with Misha at a NoVA get-together years ago, and he's a ridiculously talented musician. Shame that he applies that talent to a bunch of metalcore whatever.
 

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What is a Nolly and why do I care? Damn kids playin damn calculators, why back in 90 we had...............


:clint:
 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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What is a Nolly and why do I care? Damn kids playin damn calculators, why back in 90 we had...............

:clint:
Funnily enough you are more right than you know, when the fractal guys redid the architecture for the Axe-FX III they switched to Texas Instruments chips.

I still remember my TI-89 graphing calculator from high school. That thing had tone for days.
 

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Bro you should have got the TI-90 then, like friggin night and day, toahn to die for.
 

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Incoming 4 page essay on how nolly is a shill and that you shouldn't buy this product despite the fact it sounds great and is very convenient.....
Nah, we do that to everyone else on here but Nolly *always gets a pass. Good dude, great producer and can play and write his ass off. Good for him - this stuff sounds awesome. I hope he's getting a PRS endorsement too. :metal:

Edit: *Except from Garrett, apparently. :lol:
 

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Nah, we do that to everyone else on here but Nolly *always gets a pass. Good dude, great producer and can play and write his ass off. Good for him - this stuff sounds awesome. I hope he's getting a PRS endorsement too. :metal:

Edit: *Except from Garrett, apparently. :lol:
Bingo
 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Nah, we do that to everyone else on here but Nolly *always gets a pass. Good dude, great producer and can play and write his ass off. Good for him - this stuff sounds awesome. I hope he's getting a PRS endorsement too. :metal:

Edit: *Except from Garrett, apparently. :lol:
I have nothing against Nolly, just stuff against people who act like something is the tonal equivalent of the moon landing and heap it with unreserved praise just because their favorite social media influencer slapped their name on it.

I mean yeah, this VST is so far ahead of everything else it's mindblowing, you can literally hear how groundbreaking it is.....

....up to the point where you put all the people singing its praises in a double blind study where they aren't told which one is the Nolly VST.

Then they can't hear shit.

They've done this with a strati various and a regular violin numerous times, and all of the connoisseurs always come out looking like idiots.

And that's a group of people who hasn't damaged their hearing with cranked half stacks.

All I'm saying is that if I took the Frogger.exe file from a 1997 3d remake of Frogger by Hasbro Interactive for PC and re titled it, "Nolly Neural DSP.vst" and gave it to people, they would still be telling me about how it's the greatest VST ever made.
 

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Don't get me wrong.- I agree with you that all of these things are marketed with the same over the top schtick that the /7/ folks live for. :lol:
 

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Hates Richie Kotzen
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Don't get me wrong.- I agree with you that all of these things are marketed with the same over the top schtick that the /7/ folks live for. :lol:
The problem with all these guys who are trying to cash in on that crowd, is that they always make their sites so full of "slick professionalism" it actually goes too far and ends up looking implausible and amateurish. :lol:

I mean, if you go and look at their site it's like, holy fuck. It looks like a fucking parody of ultra-modern professional design. They have a bunch of nice pictures that they just happened to take at the right time, that were not staged shots, but pictures that just happen to look staged taken during the arduous development process when they were photogenically staring at amps. The endless scroll infinity waterfall page layout.

You actually see it all the time with start ups in all fields, although it's particularly bad in music, they are so concerned with making all their production values and web/social media presence the pinnacle of Triple A that it arouses suspicion. Like,

"Where did they find the time for the product if they spent this much time on the production values?"

It's offputting, the "fake it til you make it" mentality, they think, "If we make sure our aesthetics are sick, like the biggest companies, people will be more likely to buy our product".

In reality, all the huge companies with Triple A production values didn't start out like that. They look like that now.

This is what Amazon, the biggest fucking company in the world, looked like in its first decade.



I mean sure, make your shit look good and professional, but when you posture too hard, not only do I not want to buy your shit, it makes me suspicious about how good the product/service actually is.

These fucking Neural douchebags have their site set up to give the impression that their HQ is some ultra modern thing in the Swiss Alps only accessible by heli-pad straight out of a James Bond movie and it's like, fucking please.

Once again, here's Amazon in their first decade.



Professional aesthetics are important, but posturing too hard is a mistake. Once again, all these big companies with the impressive image now that were started in someone's garage, were somewhat honest about the fact they were started in someones garage at the start.

Neural comes right out of the gate looking like they have a fucking campus like Google. Like I can go to the Neural campus and take fucking spin classes and there is a healthy smoothie stand at the Neural campus and there are fucking panes of glass with the company logo everywhere and monochrome decor and it's like, fucking please.

When companies come out of the gate that hard with "branding" and there is no humanity or humility anywhere in sight and their shit is at a"premium" price point. Yeah, I'm not going to feel bad about talking shit about them. VSTs are a cutthroat business, it's a vote with your wallet atmosphere. When their price is that much higher then comparable shit, yeah, it is an implicit declaration that they think they are better than the more reasonably priced competition. People are allowed to have an opinion about that. :lol:

There are a lot of shit-hot coders writing VSTs. It's a competitive field. If you are coming out with the alpha and omega as a start up at a ridiculous price point, yeah, expect to have your shit scrutinized and questioned.
 

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The natural order of things is to design a product, honestly believe it's the best, refine it, perfect it, do the site, come up with the pitch, do the branding, etc.

When you go look at something and it's clear they did the branding and the pitch first and came up with the product after..........yeah, it might be a cash grab. :lol:
 
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